Today we are doing some things and we will be writing a story
A moment in time
I heard climbers squealing with delight and
excitement. I could hear the birds chirping
and the leaves rustling in the trees around me.
I could hear my friends down below, yelling
with support. I could hear all the noises of the
creatures that they make when they are
talking to each other like buzzing of the bees,
wasps and the barking of the dogs tied tightly
to the trees down below.
A moment in time
I heard climbers squealing with delight and
excitement. I could hear the birds chirping
and the leaves rustling in the trees around me.
I could hear my friends down below, yelling
with support. I could hear all the noises of the
creatures that they make when they are
talking to each other like buzzing of the bees,
wasps and the barking of the dogs tied tightly
to the trees down below.
I saw pine trees towering all around me.
I felt vulnerable, terrified but determined.
I wondered if my legs would hold me on the
wobbly rope.
Alex you have captured a moment in time superbly. I can speak from my own experience because I used to rock climb at Charlestown, up the coast road. You have used all the senses in your writing to bring the experience alive.
ReplyDeleteAloha Alex, I'm Amelia from Red Hill School. I love how you have explained how they were feeling and how you added so much description in the story. I was wondering, what was the rope hanging from? You could make the size of the writing smaller because its a little to big. Keep on posting and never give up.
ReplyDeleteHi Amelia thank you for the comment and the rope is hanging from the spiky trees and the pinecones
DeleteHi Alex, My name is Breeze and I go to Red hill school. I like your post about a moment in time post it is a really cool post. Next time you could probably make a background.
ReplyDeleteHi Breeze this is Alex from paparoa range school and Thank-you for your positive, thoughtful, helpful comment. Q make a background A It is difficult.
ReplyDelete